[livingwith]

My 10 year old step-daughter was recently diagnosed with ADD While I haved heard of this for years, this is the first time I am learning more details about it. Her parents are divorced and both are re-married. Her mother and step-father recently moved out of state. Which isn’t all together a bad thing — long story.
When she was younger, she had severe speech problems. Although she has made vast improvements in this area, there are still times that it is hard to understand her. Her ...Read the full article

[bren78]

Hi,
I just read your post and I understand what you mean...One thing you need to remember is that those w/ ADD/ADHD are usually impulsive (say or do things before thinking about the outcome or consequences)...I found that what works best is always give your child the opportunity to explain the reason for their actions (speak w/ them privately & your tone of voice matters , be patient, and remember try your best not to think that your child is making excuses-she usually really does not realize what she said or did). Also, it's important to put things in their perspective and start w/ "I know that you..." or "I understand that you..." and explain their actions and your understanding from their perspectives. Then explain to her what you would like for her to know or realize. Rubbing her back and really letting her know that you understand her by your actions and words really makes a difference. A child w/ ADD/ADHD gets embarrassed easily and is extremely sensitive, so it is very important to not yell at them especially in front of others. The only way you can really understand her actions is by letting her explain it to you and remembering that she is not trying to make excuses. The more you talk w/ her, the more you will begin to understand her since those w/ ADD/ADHD are impulsive and at times don't realize the consequences of their actions/words and need to be first listened to, and then explain to them why their actions/words were inappropriate or hurtful to others. They really don't realize unless you explain it to them by helping them "turn the tables" and put themselves in "another person's shoes" w/ their action(s). Children w/ ADD/ADHD usually need help w/ self control, need lots of encouragement and reminders, and need help seeing things in others' perspectives and need help understanding why their actions/words were inappropriate. They usually have what I would call a "tunnel perspective" in which they only see things their way and you really need to explain that you do understand their way of thinking or reasons for their actions/words, but also help them understand others' perspectives as well. I hope this helps.